Reliving My Childhood: JanSport Backpacks, Peanut Butter, and Cutting in Line

Greetings from Israel, where the teens sling a machine gun over one shoulder and a JanSport backpack over the other; where the world comes to a screeching at 5pm on Friday; and where the average price of a small container of peanut butter is $7.

But none of these things bug me as much as one thing: Israeli's don't stand in lines.

Well, they do stand in lines. But then they disregard the lines.

It honestly feels like first grade snack time all over again. Everyone is going to get a snack, but there is always one kid who feels like he needs to cut to the front of the line to get his snack first.

I was warned about this, just like I was warned about the machine guns and shabbat. But for some reason, being warned, and actually experiencing the irritation of waiting in line to get onto the bus and watching a woman shove her way past you and the 20 other people waiting to board the bus just erks me.

And its not like there is a risk of her not getting onto the bus. We all get on the bus. ALWAYS.

Or yesterday, I was waiting to buy a ticket for the tram in Jerusalem. Apparently they were racing formula one cars in Jerusalem yesterday (normal), so lines for the tram were really long. But people more or less got the gist of the line concept. You wait. Then when it is your turn, you pay your money, and you go.

Not this old guy. He proceeds to walk straight to the front of the line, demands a ticket, gets the ticket, pays, and leaves.

Huh? My jaw literally dropped.

I just don't get it. And I hope I never do. Because I'll tell you what, if I show up to Customs at the Ben Gurion Airport in August and push my way to the front of the line, demanding to be first, I'm pretty sure I will end up detained by some of those JanSport carrying, machine gun slinging teenagers.

And on an unrelated note, pictures of the wall dividing Israel and Palestine.

Tel Aviv Pride 2013

In Tel Aviv, Pride isn't just a parade or a late night party. Pride is a week long extravaganza. And I'm not talking the fake "week-long" pride events in the States, where they do a "film screening" one night and have like a speaker talk another night. In Tel Aviv, they legitimately have parties happening 24/7 for seven days. They also have a gay beach open all week. And there are guys walking the boardwalk in their leather speedos, suspenders, conductor hats, and doc martins. Normal.

The parade is different too. Rather than being an opportunity for political, cultural, and religious demonstrations--like in the US--the Pride Parade in Tel Aviv is like a giant, migrating dance party through the streets of Tel Aviv. There aren't many signs or protestors. The floats don't really move with the crowd. They are more or less stationary. The people are meant to walk around the floats and continue walking along the street to the beach. However, there was one particular float with a lot of attractive men and great music, which led to a major traffic jam in the parade. Everyone literally just stood around this float and danced for quite a while. 

But we all managed to make it to the beach, where I joined an estimated 1o0,000 people in a massive beach party that lasted until sunset. Live bands played, vendors sold witty paraphernalia, and old men revealed more of themselves than I would have preferred. 

The Scene

On the Boardwalk

Virtually empty...everyone left for the Parade

The Spectators

The Parade

'cause all I see are stilettos, I guess I never got the memo

Diva

Follow that flag!

The Beach

The parade leads directly to the beach...

...where 100,000 of your closest friends are ready to have a party

 The beach

 Oy Vey!

The main stage

 In front of the British Embassy

I found the flag!

Sunny Day Count: 11

Rainy Day Count: 0

Falafel and Hummus, part of a balanced diet

Israel is by no means a food desert. A real desert, yes. A food desert, no. But it can sure feel like one when you don't speak the language. And by speak I mean read the language, or even know the alphabet. This makes grocery shopping nearly impossible. Which means I have been going out more frequently. Which only makes the humiliation more public. Instead of walking aisle after aisle alone trying to figure out what something is by the picture on its label, I can walk around aimlessly to restaurants, pretending to understand their all-Hebrew menus.

In times like these, I try to seek out the "Point-and-Pay" oasis of falafel stands. The point-and-pay method is pretty easy: you see what you want, you point to it, they package it up, and you pay for it. But a word of caution: the method does have its draw backs--namely, sometimes the price you expect is not the price you pay. But let me tell you, I am in no position to argue with the angry falafel stand man yelling at me. I'm starving and have no idea what the sign actually says.

Another popular method is the "Take-Your-Intern-To-Lunch" method, in which the supervisor takes the intern to lunch and orders for the intern. Magic. I experienced this method first hand today. My supervisor invited me to have lunch with her at the best hummus place in Israel. She didn't have to twist my arm too much. So I Google mapped the place, and it turns out it is about a block away from my apartment. Convenient. So we go, and all they serve is hummus...all day, everyday. Apparently in America we decided that hummus was a dip or something. However, in Israel, they eat it as a meal. This was truly a turning point in my life.

After the meal, I felt like I went to a Mexican restaurant ate too many free chips and dip and couldn't eat my meal. Or went to Outback steakhouse and just ordered the Bloomin' Onion.

But, when in Tel Aviv...

Moral of the story: I can now fully legitimize eating an entire tub of hummus in one sitting.

Sunny Day Count: 7
Rainy Day Count: 0

First days in Jerusalem

It's official, I'm in Israel. My Google homepage consistently reverts to Hebrew script and my Youtube commercials are all in Hebrew. I'm not going to understand anything for the next three months. 

The first few days were a whirlwind. I decided to jump into the touristy stuff. Rather than spend too much time rehashing the first two day, I thought I would share some quick photos from the trip so far. 

DAY 1: HOLY CITY TOUR

My Translation: "Hey bro"

Makin' my way downtown, walking fast, faces pass..

WESTERN WALL

21st-century Western Wall: This kid was tweeting his prayer instead of writing it.

Old School Prayin'

Bar Mitzvah Thursday

 Pappa-Papparazzi--women aren't allowed to pray with the men at the Western Wall

Girls have cooties.

TEMPLE ON THE ROCK

Temple on the Rock.

 My new outfit--think i'll bring this style back to the US

THE CHURCH OF THE HOLY SEPULCHRE

 

Outside

 Dome in the Church of the Holy Sepulchre

On the roof of the hostel after the tour.

DAY 2: BETHLEHEM

Welcome to you, too. 

 HERODIUM (RIP Herod)

 Herodium

 From atop the Herodium

 Hostel Friends

CHURCH OF THE NATIVITY 

outside

designed by Frodo

 

Inside the Church of the Nativity

The Altar at the Place of Jesus' Birth

 Streets of the Old City--Empty on Shabbat